


Out of Control

by DaisyDogOx



Category: Persona 5
Genre: A More Accurate Version of What Happened After the Interrogation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 08:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19103743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyDogOx/pseuds/DaisyDogOx
Summary: He prided himself on planning out every day so he could make the most of his time. He always knew exactly who he was going to visit and what he was going to get done, whether it were dealing with requests on the Phan-site or making infiltration tools for when they entered a palace.He even had a plan for his capture and knew what he needed to do to get Sae-san on his side and reveal the true villain.Except the plan never anticipated how much people hated the Phantom Thieves, or just how lawless the system truly was.How was he supposed to get things back in order when all he ever saw was the moment he lost it all?





	Out of Control

**Author's Note:**

> It's important to note that while a single 'truth serum' doesn't exist, there are several drugs that can be used to dampen the central nervous system to induce drowsiness, eliminate pain, and all around make it so the person has to work much harder to lie. They also tend to mess with the memory and make it so the person can be lead to say whatever the person doing the interrogation wants so they're controversial and illegal in most countries. 
> 
> The men who captured Akira clearly don't care.

He didn’t know where he was, or who was touching him as he came to. He couldn’t remember anything, and the only thing he knew for certain was that everything hurt.

Bits and pieces came back as he was helped to his feet by the woman.

 _Sae-san_ , something in the back of his mind told him.

“One of your teammates filled me in,” she said, slinging his arm around her shoulder. “Come on, we’ve got to get you out of here before you’re seen and this was all for naught.”

His legs felt like they were made of lead and she practically dragged him down the hall. He was in too much pain to protest and simply let her do what she wanted.

_We were betrayed by someone and I got caught, but it was part of the plan._

They made it outside without being spotted and she lead him to a car parked in the shadow of the building. He tried to buckle himself in but his hands shook too badly and she did it for him.

“We managed to fake an autopsy report and the coroner is on our side. The media, as well as Akechi, think you’re dead.”

_Akechi shot me… but it wasn’t me, it was--_

“Are you all right? I don’t know what they drugged you with but you were barely conscious for that interrogation. Hey, try to stay awake. I don’t want you falling asleep until we can get you checked by a doctor.”

“No!” he said suddenly, sitting up as much as he could as the memories came back to him all at once. “Don’t let anyone see me like this, _please_. I don’t want them to. Sae-san, please, they can’t-- it’d hurt them too much, nobody can see me like this.”

“I can understand why you wouldn’t want your friends to see you like this, but you at least need medical attention. What about the doctor who supplied you with medicine?”

“They can’t,” he repeated, “they can’t, it’d hurt them too much. Not Sojiro, not my friends, not Dr. Takemi….”

He was speaking more to himself as he rambled on and she glanced away from the road long enough to see him practically shaking. His eyes were unfocused and her grip on the wheel tightened. He was on the verge of passing out and while she had to admit he looked terrible, it worried her that the only thing he could say after such an ordeal was how much he didn’t want anyone to see him.

_“Akira.”_

He trailed off and looked up at her, eyes wide and struggling to take in everything around him.

“You need to be looked at, and I won’t budge on that. However, I have connections. I’ll do my best to find someone who won’t ask any questions and doesn't have any ties to you. Do we have a deal?”

“...Deal.”

The word was familiar and he automatically relaxed a bit.

She had a feeling things were only going to get more complicated.

* * *

 

The bell above the door rang and he gave a tired sigh. “I was about to close up for the night, you can get your coffee tomorrow morning--”

“Sakura-san, I need your help.”

The mug he was drying slipped from his hand and crashed to the floor. “ _Kid_.”

“He’s only sleeping, although I understand that that’s not your concern. His room is upstairs, isn’t it?”

Sojiro gawked as Sae carried him up.

The news had said he was _dead_. And yet there he was, although he looked as though he might as well have been. Even just the glance he got as he was carried past was enough to make his blood run cold.

She returned a minute later and all but collapsed into a booth. “I know that it’s late, but could I trouble you for some coffee?”

He flipped the sign to _CLOSED_ and took up his spot at the counter. “Something tells me this is going to be a long story. I’ll make it a double.”

* * *

 

He bolted upright, a scream dying in his throat as he took in his surroundings. The dirty window that barely let in any light, the dust hanging in the air, and the souvenirs from his friends on the shelf next to him. There was no doubt that he was in Leblanc.

_Was it all just a nightmare?_

He ran a hand through his hair and froze, staring at the bruises on his wrist.

The weight of it all hit him like a ton of bricks and he felt as though he could barely sit up. Everything was fuzzy and he couldn’t remember the details of it all. He remembered the plan, and the betrayal, but then everything became hazy. All he knew was grabbing hands and fingers curling into his hair, people holding him down as he desperately tried to struggle away.

He forced himself to his feet, steadying himself against the shelf.

He’d just made it to the railing when his bag began to rustle and he swallowed another scream. Morgana jumped out and butted his head against his arm.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you that bad. How’re you doing, leader?”

He flinched at the contact and Morgana’s playful smile changed. “Hey, what happened to you in there? You okay?”

Sojiro appeared at the bottom of the stairs and Akira froze where he was, eyes wide and breath coming in short gasps.

“Nijima-san told me what happened,” he said, doing his best not to look at the bandages. “I… I’m here for you if you want to talk, or if you need anything.”

“Futaba--” he managed.

“I’ve already talked to her and she knows I might not go home tonight. Are you hungry? Nijima-san had some coffee while we talked so I haven’t closed up shop yet. I could make you some curry.”

At the mere mention of food his stomach threatened to bring back up whatever was in it and he shook his head weakly. “I just… need to be alone for awhile. To sort through things.”

“Alright, but I’ll be downstairs for awhile yet. Have to clean up if you’re not eating. Yell if you need anything.”

All he could do was nod and he limped back to his bed.

Everything was so hazy. He knew at one point something had been done to his leg, but when he tried to recall the pain only got worse until it was all he could focus on.

He laid back and closed his eyes, trying to will the nausea away. He heard Morgana pad across the room and tried not to flinch as the cat jumped up and the bed dipped slightly.

“If you don’t want to talk to Boss, I’m always here.”

It was too much. He limped down the stairs and barely made it to the bathroom before the retching started.

He could hear Sojiro outside the door in an instant.

“...It’s open.”

Light flooded the tiny room and he curled even further into himself.

“Drink,” the man said, handing him a cup.

“I’m not--”

“It’s just water. It’s fine if you don’t want to eat, but you at least need to stay hydrated.”

He hesitated a minute before downing it, doing his best to steady his shaking hands.

“These booth seats are hell on my back, kid. I’m going to head home. I’d prefer if you came with me, just so I could keep an eye on you. I’m sure Futaba wouldn’t mind sleeping on the couch for a night so you could have a decent bed.”

“I couldn’t--”

“I had a feeling that was going to be your answer. I suppose the familiarity of the attic might be good for you. You have my number in case you need anything, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Sojiro offered him a hand and he stared at it.

_Sojiro wouldn’t hurt you._

He sighed and took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.

“Akira, I mean it. I want to help you. We all do.”

He nodded, more to get him to stop than anything, and limped back upstairs. Morgana was waiting for him.

“If you don’t want me to sleep with you tonight that’s fine, you seem a little jumpy--”

He grabbed the cat and held him close, and the facade finally broke.

“I was so scared,” he whispered. “I don’t even remember what they did to me…”

He didn’t have a witty remark. Instead he just let Akira hold him for awhile, until his breathing finally evened out.

* * *

 

Morgana must’ve fallen asleep as well, because he was woken up by Akira thrashing around.

He headbutted him a few times and tried to wake him up to no avail.

“Hey, it’s just a dream, it’s okay. Akira c’mon, wake up. Please?”

He nearly got hit by a flailing arm and jumped off the bed, frowning at his friend. He didn’t want to just leave him to be stuck in his nightmare, but there wasn’t much he could do. At least not without hurting him even more.

“No, please!” His cries gave way to whimpers and Morgana made up his mind. He wasn’t going to watch his friend suffer.

“I’ll be right back,” he told him, before jumping out the open window and starting off down the street.

It wasn’t hard to find Sojiro’s house. The challenge came in finding a way in. He didn’t particularly want to pick the lock, nor did he have any tools on him. Instead he jumped up on the fence and found a window that was cracked open in the back.

He squeezed inside and hurried to what he assumed was the man’s room. The door was shut and he paced back and forth a few times before accepting his fate.

He began to meow as loudly as he could, scratching at the door for good measure. “Sojirooooo!”

He was about to give up and try Futaba when the door swung open.

“Morgana…?”

“Come _on_ , don’t just stand there, think about why I’d be here!” he yelled, knowing the man couldn’t understand but too worked up to care. “Akira needs you!”

It must’ve dawned on him because he grabbed the keys to the shop and Morgana had to sprint to keep up.

By the time he got back things were already under control, although Sojiro was rubbing at his cheek and the cat had a feeling Akira had hit him.

“I’m so sorry!” he cried. “I-I didn’t mean to, I swear--!”

“Kid, calm down. I’m not mad.”

“Please don’t get angry, I’m sorry--!”

“Akira!”

He stopped rambling long enough that the other man could get a word in.

“Breathe.”

He did as he was told and calmed down a bit. “...Why are you here?” he asked at last.

“Your cat woke me up. Got in the house somehow, so I figured something was wrong with you. That must’ve been a hell of a dream if you woke up still fighting.” He opened his mouth to say something and Sojiro glared at him. “Don’t apologize again.”

He picked up Morgana and buried his face in the cat’s fur. “Thank you,” he mumbled.

Sojiro yawned. “Alright, can you think of anything you might need overnight? There are pillows and blankets at the house, but if you want anything else I can grab it.”

“What…?”

“You’re coming back to the house, at least for tonight. Clearly you need someone to keep an eye on you, and I’d rather not have to run back here. Here, can you walk?”

He’d almost made his way to the stairs when suddenly he was being lifted off the ground.

“You’re under doctor’s orders to rest while your leg heals, right? I’ll be making sure you eat properly during that, at least. You can’t avoid my cooking forever.”

His face burned as he was carried down the street and he refused to look at Sojiro.

“...Thank you,” he whispered. “For everything.”

The door was already unlocked and the man set him down on the couch, frowning to himself. “Probably shouldn’t wake Futaba… especially since she hasn’t seen you yet. We can save that reunion for tomorrow. You alright with sleeping out here? I’ll keep my door open, and I’m sure the cat will let me know if you need anything.”

He nodded, already yawning again. Morgana jumped up next to him and curled up, asleep just as fast.

Sojiro tossed him a pillow and hesitated. “Kid, I… I know I was rough on you for the longest time when you first came to the city, and I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t have treated you like a delinquent when you were trying so hard to prove that you weren’t. I just… I’m glad you’re here. Let’s get through this together, alright?”

“Together,” he agreed, his eyes already half-closed.

“...Night.”

Morgana smiled as he disappeared into his room. “He can pretend to be cold and uncaring all he wants, but we know the truth.”

* * *

 

Futaba didn’t know what time it was when she woke up, only that it was too early if she could smell Sojiro cooking breakfast. That alone made her do a double take. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that, or at least at the house instead of the café.

“Sojiro?” she called, wandering towards the kitchen. She realized the water was running as she passed the bathroom and froze. “ _Sojiro_!”

The man rushed to her, spatula still in hand. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“There’s someone else in the house,” she hissed.

He ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t startle me like that. Yes, there’s someone else here.”

They heard the water shut off and a minute later the door opened, Akira stepping out with a towel around his waist. “Do you have any gauze or--?”

He noticed Futaba and his whole face flushed red before he hurriedly shut the door again.

“ _Akira_!” she cried.

“I don’t think the neighbors quite heard you that time, try yelling his name a little louder.”

“This is no time for jokes!” she snapped. “You didn’t tell me he was here!”

“I thought you were in on the plan?”

“I knew the report of his death was a fake but not that he was coming back so soon! Why’s he here? And why is he hurt so bad?”

“You’ll have to ask him about that, I have eggs to finish cooking.” He pounded on the door. “Kid, I’ll leave some bandages out for you. There aren’t any in the medicine cabinet there.”

Futaba pouted and sat down in front of the door. She wasn’t going to let him dodge her questions this time.

That was her plan anyway, until Sojiro yelled that breakfast was ready and she realized she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch the day before and the eggs smelled fantastic. “...Later,” she said to the door. “Definitely later.”

She was almost done with her meal when Akira showed himself again, this time dressed. She didn’t say anything but watched as he limped to the table.

“Thank you for the food,” he said quietly.

“So…”

“Futaba,” Sojiro said warningly. “He only got back yesterday. Let him have a little time.”

“I was just gonna ask if Mona was here too!”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“Fine, it was _one_ of my questions.”

“He should be around,” Akira said, keeping his head down. “I don’t think he slept well so he’s probably off napping.”

“Why didn’t he sleep well?”

“I… I must’ve had a lot of nightmares, he woke me up a few times.”

She didn’t push him. It wasn’t that long ago that she was dealing with her own nightmares. Instead she settled for, “That limp looks pretty bad.”

“He’s not supposed to be walking on it,” Sojiro said dryly.

“I can’t ask you to help me with everything--!”

“You don’t want my help for _anything_.”

“...You always wanted me to be independent--”

“That was before you showed up with a broken leg and nearly dead! Now I want you to do as the doctor says and rest and ask for help if you need it! This stress is gonna make me go gray, I can just feel it…”

Futaba snickered. “He’s got more hair on his face than on top of his head.”

“I heard that,” he snapped, and she squeaked.

He left, muttering to himself about how little he wanted children and asking how he’d been saddled with two of them.

She turned to Akira, her smile disappearing. “Those aren’t just normal cuts and bruises, are they?”

“...No.”

“And?” she prompted.

“I don’t… I don’t remember how I got them.”

“C’mon, we’re Phantom Thieves, we’ve seen all kinds of crazy and terrible things. Like Okumura dying on live television! You don’t have to hide the truth from me just because I’m younger than you.”

“I’m not _hiding_ anything. I just… don’t remember. Or I only remember bits and pieces.”

“Such as?”

“Futaba, please, I don’t want to--”

“Just answer me this and I’ll leave you alone. I promise.”

He sighed, his hands already shaking. “I just remember people pulling on my hair, a-and others holding me down and laughing as I tried to get away.”

“Akira--”

“They injected me with something and suddenly I barely had the strength to move, to talk, to even stay awake. They made me sign a confession, or that’s what they said it was. I can’t remember any of their faces, just that awful laughter as they beat me again and again, even as I begged them to stop and I couldn’t fight back--!”

“Akira!”

He whipped around to look at her, his breath coming in heaving gasps.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I want to go to Leblanc,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“You can’t walk there--!”

“I’m _fine_!”

* * *

 

“You’re supposed to be resting,” Sojiro said as soon as he limped in.

“I wanted to be somewhere familiar.”

He gave an unconvinced grunt. “Where’d you get the crutches?”

“The clinic.”

“So it’s just me you refuse to accept help from.”

“I don’t--”

“Kid, I’m teasing. You need help getting up the stairs?”

“...Yes please.”

He made sure Akira was as comfortable as he was going to get before heading back downstairs. He must not have heard the bell over the door because a customer sat at the counter who hadn’t been there before.

“Sorry about that, had to take care of something. What can I get you?”

The man glanced at the menu. “Just a coffee. Black.”

He started on the order and glanced back. “I make it a point to know my regulars, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in here before.”

“I run a shop in Shibuya. Is Akira Kurusu here? He mentioned something about a shop in Yongen once.”

Sojiro raised one eyebrow. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“Iwai, Munehisa Iwai. The kid works part-time for me and I haven’t seen him in awhile, so I wanted to check up on him. Especially with everything on the news these days…”

He gave the man his coffee and leaned against the counter. “The only thing the news cares about is Masayoshi Shido and the Phantom Thieves, and the suicide of their leader.”

“Well, that’s what they _said_ ,” Iwai said offhandedly, “but I don’t believe most of what the news reports anymore.”

“You might be onto something there. Akira’s asleep right now, but I’ll let him know you were asking for him.”

“Thanks.”

He finished his drink and left, and Sojiro frowned.

_Something was off about that man… he’s not all that he seems to be. What has that kid gotten himself mixed up in now?_

* * *

 

He knew he was supposed to be resting and tried to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes he saw black suits and faceless men with blood on their hands. Eventually he gave up on it and grabbed the tools off his desk. He needed to do something with his hands. Anything to distract himself.

He lost track of how many lockpicks he’d made by the time Sojiro came back upstairs. He gave him a curious look but didn’t say anything.

“Finally got a break in customers. You need anything?”

“Need my leg to be healed already,” he muttered. “It’s only my second day back and I’m already going out of my mind with nothing to do.”

“You keep yourself busy when you’re not under doctor’s orders to rest.”

It wasn’t a question and Akira looked up at him, trying to figure out what he meant.

“I just had a slew of people come by asking for you. Some reporter, a woman who said your fate had changed, a man with tattoos who runs a store in Shibuya… even this old politician who was part of the Diet when I worked for the government. Just how many people do you know? You’ve got more connections than someone who’s lived their whole life in the city.”

“What did you tell them?”

“That you were sleeping, which is what you were supposed to be doing. That tattooed man in particular seemed… strange. He was cryptic with my questions. What did he say his name was? Mune-something…”

“Munehisa,” he said with a smile, more to himself. “They were worried about me.”

“Of course they were, if you put as much effort into poking your nose into their business as you did mine. C’mon, you need to sleep. Those bags under your eyes look even darker than they were yesterday.”

“I can’t,” he said weakly.

“I’m sure that doctor has something that can knock you out for a few hours--”

“No!”

He looked back, surprised by the sudden outburst.

“I just… can’t. I close my eyes and it all comes rushing back.”

“You can’t just not sleep--”

“I know! I’ll… I’ll figure something out. I just need time.”

Sojiro tried to brush the boy’s bangs out of his face and he flinched, and he drew his hand back.

“...I’m sorry. I just--”

“It’s fine. We’ll take things slow.”

* * *

 

Sojiro did his best to give Akira privacy, but his friends were persistent, especially after Futaba let it slip that he was back. He’d managed to keep them out of the shop for three days but that was all. They all showed up together on the fourth and he knew he wouldn’t be able to turn them down, so he just asked them to wait downstairs and he went to get the kid.

Akira must’ve heard them because Sojiro found him struggling to get down the stairs with his crutches. He offered a hand but he refused.

“I won’t get any better if I can’t do this on my own.”

Sojiro watched him for a minute before gently grabbing the crutches and slinging the boy over his shoulder. “All you’re gonna do is make the injury worse.”

“Put me down!”

“I wouldn’t be able to do this if you ate more, you know.”

His face flushed red and he did his best not to look at his friends as the man practically dropped him in a booth.

“I’ll close the shop for a bit so you can catch up.”

They all thanked him before turning back to Akira, who was doing his best to avoid meeting five questioning looks. Futaba was also looking away, having already gotten the truth out of him.

Ryuji was the first to break the silence. “You look like _shit_.”

Makoto gave a sigh of disgust. “Eloquent as always.”

“We were all thinking it! What the hell happened to you? I thought it was just going to be some sort of interrogation!”

“I’d rather not--”

“Akira, please, we’re worried about you.”

“He said no,” Futaba said suddenly, startling all of them. “How’d you like it if you went through something awful and everyone kept bugging you about it? He has to relive it every time he tells someone about it! He’ll tell us in his own time.”

Ann was the first to speak again. “It sounds like you know something we don’t.”

She began to curl in on herself and Makoto and Haru shared a glance.

“Futaba-chan--”

“It’s not her fault,” Akira interjected, his head still down. “She asked me and I told her. I didn’t think it would get to me that much but I was wrong, and I don’t want to talk about it again. She can tell you about it.”

“Akira, are you sure--?”

“Please,” he managed. “Just… don’t make me talk about it.”

 _Later_ , Makoto mouthed, and everyone nodded.

“Well we came here to see you,” Ann said brightly, “is there anything we can do for you?”

“...bored…”

“...What?”

“I’m _bored_ ,” he snapped. “I’m stuck here with everyone thinking I’m dead so I’m not allowed outside, and even if I was, my leg is like this and I can barely walk around the café, let alone the city.”

“I-I’m sure we could come over more often to keep you company, and we could bring you books or something. The school library has that one-per-person rule but if we each checked one out, that would be at least four, five if Yusuke got one from Kosei.”

“Yeah, just let us know what kinds of books you’d like.”

He struggled to his feet. “...I’m feeling tired. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Akira, wait--”

He didn’t listen and disappeared upstairs without another word. The group turned to Futaba, who retreated back into herself. “It’s not a pleasant story,” she warned.

“Please? We need to know what happened so we can help him.”

She sighed and grabbed for one of the loose pencils and a napkin. “First, you need to understand something about truth serum.”

* * *

 

Akira wasn’t used to people paying attention to him, and especially not caring for him. When his friends showed up with five different books the next day, he didn’t know how to respond. He gave a muttered “Thanks” and retreated back to his room with Futaba’s help.

The days passed quicker once he had something else to focus on, although nights were much harder. Sleep still evaded him and not even Morgana’s refusal to leave his side helped. He relied on pills from Dr. Takemi just to get him through the night, and they did nothing to quell the nightmares.

He was given permission to walk around after what felt like an eternity, although he was still supposed to use the crutches. As soon as his friends found out they invited him to get ramen with them, and wouldn’t take no for an answer no matter how much he protested. Even Sojiro took their side, saying something about how it’d be good for him to get out of the café, even if it was only for a bit.

And so he found himself on the train to Ogikubo, Haru holding the bag with Morgana and Ryuji saddled with his crutches.

He must’ve dozed off because he was woken up by someone shaking him and he narrowly avoided hitting Futaba, who leaned back at the last second. Yusuke wasn’t so lucky.

“S-Sorry--!”

“You have an excellent arm, though I’ve read that keeping your thumb outside makes the punch more effective.”

Makoto cleared her throat. “We can finish this discussion at the shop. Akira, do you need any help?”

He got to his feet with little difficulty and lead the group off the train. “Where do we want to go?”

“You’re getting into this after all of that protesting,” Ann teased.

“I’d probably go nuts too if I were stuck in that shop for weeks on end,” Ryuji muttered. “Why don’t we go to the one we visited before?” he asked before Futaba could hit him for disrespecting the café. “We know the menu so it’s bound to be good! Plus it’s close so he doesn’t have to walk far.”

“Any objections? No? Lead the way, Ryuji.”

There was only a short line out front and they took their places.

“I’ve never been here,” Haru admitted. “It is as good as people say?”

“This place is the _best_. The cook the pork just right, and--”

Akira kept glancing over his shoulder and Ann took up her spot next to him. “Are you worried about people recognizing you? You could always use the hood on your sweatshirt.”

“No,” he said without looking away.

She frowned. “How’s your leg?”

“Fine.”

“You gonna keep giving me one word answers?”

He finally looked at her, eyes wide. “Huh?”

She resisted the urge to brush his bangs out of his face, knowing he was still wary of people touching him.

Futaba didn’t know all the details, but she’d done plenty of research on her own and had put together a pretty solid picture. Ann couldn’t imagine going through such a thing and being okay afterwards.

“The line moved, c’mon.”

They rejoined the others, and he even got into the conversation when someone walked past them and bumped into him. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

He stiffened up at once, stopping mid-sentence and nearly forgetting how to breathe. Makoto was the first to respond and clasped one of his hands in her own.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re right here. Akira, look at me, he didn’t mean anything by that. It was just an accident.”

Slowly the panic left his eyes and his breathing evened out. “I-I’m fine.”

 _He’s not okay,_ Ann thought to herself. _But that’s why we’re here._

Ryuji coughed into his fist. “We’re attracting some attention and the guys in front of us are letting us go first. We should either take advantage of this or get out of here.”

“Akira, do you still want to eat? We could always go back.”

“No, we came all the way out here--”

“Really, it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“I’m not some fragile doll that you have to protect! I’m allowed to go through things and recover and move on, and right now I just want to eat some ramen because we came all the way out here and I can’t go back to that coffee shop without having made _some_ kind of progress!”

He wrenched out of Makoto’s grip and thanked the men in front of them before doing his best to storm into the shop.

They all shared a look before following him, and it was clear they were all thinking the same thing.

_What are we doing wrong?_

* * *

 

_Game Over_  
_Try Again?_  
_[Y]/N_

He immediately turned to Futaba. “One more match.”

She frowned. “It’s not nearly as fun winning when you’re not at your best.”

“Just one more.”

“You said that the last four times…”

“Please?”

“Why don’t we play something with co-op instead?” She dug through his collection of games and triumphantly held up her find after a minute.

He didn’t get a chance to protest as she put it in and the game loaded up.

“This one’s really fun, but I haven’t played it in awhile. Oh, and I’m always the mage so don’t even think about picking him.”

The character selection screen popped up and sure enough, she chose the mage before he could even read half the classes. He went with a swordsman and their characters were dropped in a field.

“Alright, you focus on attacking and I’ll use healing magic if you run into trouble. You should’ve chosen a knight because now you have terrible defense.”

“Swords are better than lances.”

“Defense is better than attack when you’re eventually gonna face the dragon king. I’ll be sure to give you any stat boosting items we find.”

Then the enemy approached them and they played in silence, the only noise that of Futaba’s button mashing or occasional outburst as Akira did something she considered wrong.

They cleared level after level with ease and they’d nearly reached the end when he set down his controller.

“Aww, don’t tell me you wanna quit now! We’re so close! Or is something wrong?”

He leaned back in the chair and stretched. “I’m not allowed to just take a break?”

“That’s not what I meant,” she said, pouting. “How come you’re so short with everyone?”

“Are you actually asking or do you just want to keep playing?”

She put down her controller and shut down the system--without saving, he realized.

“Spill. You’ve been crabby for awhile now.”

“Everyone treats me like I’ll break if they don’t treat me just right. I don’t _need_ to be coddled, I need my friends by my side as I slip up and get better. But you won’t even let me do that! And soon we’re going to facing our toughest enemy yet and I can already tell it’s only going to get worse…”

“They only do it because they’re worried. They don’t know the whole story but those bruises alone paint a pretty nasty picture. Combined with the limp and the spotty memory, it’s clear you went through a lot. Of course they want to make sure you don’t get hurt even more.”

He sighed. “You used to be a shut-in, and then we forced ourselves into your life. How’d you deal with that?”

She absentmindedly played with the controller. “I mean, the change of heart helped… But… I think I was just happy to have people who wanted to help me. It was definitely tough at times, like when you made me help out downstairs, but I knew it was all to help me in the end. But if you hate it that much, just tell them that. Preferably during a calm conversation and not after you have a panic attack.”

He laughed without humor. “Because you were happy to have people who wanted to help.”

“It wasn’t just that, you know. Sojiro had plenty of doctors come by but I refused to see any of them. They definitely wanted to help, but with you I felt something different… It wasn’t just that you wanted to help, it was because it was _you_ in particular. But that probably doesn’t make any sense, huh?”

He thought about how he’d come to know everyone, and realized they were all linked because society had given up on them in one way or another. “...No, I think I get it.”

“Wanna try another round of that other game? My hands are starting to cramp up from all this dungeon crawling and you might have a sporting chance now.”

He smiled to himself. “Let’s beat the dragon king first. And hope we didn’t lose too much progress when you shut everything off.”

She gasped and gave some kind of muttered prayer as it started back up.

They were brought to the character selection screen and she nearly screamed. “All of that hard work! Just gone!”

He quickly chose the mage before she could and handed her the other controller. “Do you want to try being the knight?”

“Akira Kurusu, how dare you mock me like this! This is a tragedy! We can’t go on like this!”

He leaned over and chose for her. “Guess you’re the swordsman.”

_“Akira!”_

**Author's Note:**

> i will forever be pissed off at Atlus for the boring reunion scene we got. He had no injuries of any kind and his friends just accepted things far too quickly, and then they went off and fought Shido as though he hadn't just come back from being literally tortured.


End file.
